Thursday, January 8, 2009

Learning To Walk With One Foot In Front Of The Other!

The previous post was just a way for me to express my feelings during my early teen years. After "coming out" to Mom I was sort of timid to dress in front of her. One night at the dinner table on a rare evening at home for her she said she was looking forward to an evening at home with her daughters. My jaw dropped. My sister giggled. Mom said it would be fun to get in our nighties and relax with an old movie. After cleaning up we were instructed to take a bath and meet in the family room.
I was excited and kinda nervous. What would we do? As I was filling the tub my sister came in a dumped some of her lilac bubble bath in the water. She just smiled and said "Rita, this is going to be fun". After a nice soak I slipped into the nightie she supplied me feeling like a sweet smelling princess. As I was passing by her room she beckoned me in to let me slip into the matching peignoir that went with the nightie. She also tied a thin scarf around my hair to hold it off my face. She added just a hint of blush to my cheeks. Before leaving the room she opened up a small container of pills and popped one in her mouth. I asked what that was all about and she told me she'd been on the pill since she started getting her period. She said it helped to regulate her cycle. I had no idea what she was talking about. We made our way to the family room where my Mom was giving herself a pedicure. She rarely did her finger nails because I guess it wasn't allowed in her line of work. She looked up and smiled as we entered. "Oh, Rita honey you look adorable!", she said. I guess I never mentioned that was sister's name is Denise? Sorry about that. I blushed at that statement but said quietly "Thank you, Mommy." Mommy? I never called her Mommy. She just smiled at that and told us we were both getting pedicures that night. Denise was used to that but for me it would be a big treat! When it was my turn I was asked to select a shade for my toes. I chose a vivid red color. Mommy said it was a color for older girls. Denise jumped in and told her, "Oh, Rita thinks she's a big girl already, she want to wear heels." I gave her such a look! But it was true. I'd been dying to try a pair of her heels but just didn't get around to it. Anyway, after my toes were painted a shiny red we settled in to watch a movie. The movie was "Now, Voyager" with Bette Davis. I loved it! During a break my Mother asked Denise if she remembered to take her pill. She said she had and I asked what was all this stuff about pills? They looked at each other and tried to explain about girls getting their periods and stuff. I asked if I would get one too. They just laughed. I knew a bit about girls getting older and filling out just from being around Denise but I was just so naive on allot of points. They explained about the pills containing estrogen and the effects on the body. I asked what would happen if I took them too and was told probably nothing. Denise said she thought they were helping her breasts to grow. I filed that information away until I could learn more.

That night I was given "the talk" as my mother referred to it. Nothing heavy, just the basics about the differences between the sexes. Denise insisted that she polish my finger nails as well. "Is it okay, Mommy"? , I asked. She said sure, honey. They looked pretty but I wished that they were as long as Denise's nails. In time, I thought.

We had many nights like that when Mommy was home. I was really getting comfortable with being around them while in various pretty outfits. On Christmas that year Rita received some very girly gifts such as her own panties, nighties, hair care products and one very special gift....a pair of high heels!!! They were only 2 inches but I loved them. With a pair of pantyhose I practiced every night I could. I couldn't wait until I could handle shoes with a much higher heel!

To the outside world I was all boy but at home I was rapidly becoming a young lady. If my buddy Danny ever suspected anything at this point he never let on but I think as we got older he treated me a little differently. He never questioned why we never played in my room anymore. He'd be sure to see something that would have tipped him off. He also never questioned why my hair had grown to just past shoulder length. I usually kept it in a ponytail but it was always cleaned and conditioned. He might have picked up the subtle fragrance of lilac from my bath gels. (I couldn't part with bubble baths!) When I turned 14 Denise, with Mommy's permission pierced both of my ears. I wore small gold studs on the outside but had a nice collection of pretty earrings to wear when Rita came out to play.

Denise was well stocked with her pills so I talked her into letting me take them to. She said okay, but we better not tell Mom. She was in a steady relationship at this point and I would often be left on my own at night with Mommy at work and all. At 14 I was already well into adolescence and quite curious about my body. When the first signs of hair on my legs started I just instinctively began shaving them, same for any other hair below my eyebrows, which I also began to "shape" to my liking. I was ready to start dressing like the "big" girl I knew I was.

I just wasn't prepared for the consequences.

No comments:

Post a Comment