Fashback: Realization!

I had just turned fifteen. I remember it was a warm spring evening. Friday night. My mom had just left for work and Denise was away at school. At this time I was, of course, dressing as the girl I felt I was in front of my family with not a second thought but what they didn't know was what I got myself up to when I had the house to myself for the night. Dressing in my "age appropriate attire" was fine but I wanted much more. Like any other transvestite I also had my secret stash that I kept hidden. At this time I was just awaking to the fact that I was seriously smitten with my boyhood friend and neighbor Danny. My fantasies always involved him. I saw myself as a sensual beauty dressed in the sexiest of lingerie and my most alluring makeup hoping to attract his eye. Therefore, on this night, I began my preparations to turn myself into a sex goddess. I began with a nice warm bubble bath with scented jasmine crystals. I could feel the femininity soaking into my body with every passing second. Gliding a pink razor over my legs as I stared at my red polished little toenails. After rinsing off and patting myself dry I slipped into a long satin dressing gown that belonged to mom. I glided into my sisters room where I had lain out my makeup at her vanity. For the next hour I was in another world as I slowly transformed my slightly boyish face into a picture of sensual beauty. I practiced alot back in those days. After slipping on my long brunette wig and brushing it out I applied my stick-on nail extensions polished to match my toe nails. I opened the little trunk that held my secrets a strapped myself into a sexy lacy bustier, adorned my smooth legs in nylon stockings and slipped my little feet into my 5 inch spiked heels. My clitty was throbbing and oozing as I was thinking about my lover. I added earrings and picked up my lipstick. As I slowly made up my lips to a creamy red perfection I felt a tingling in my tummy. Without even touching "little Rita" she began to spurt out her cream. That was the first time that had ever happened. It was a true feminine orgasm. I just leaned back and let it flow over me. When I caught my breath I stared into the mirror twirling a lock of hair in my long nailed finger. It was at that moment that it really hit me. I was a young girl destined to grow into a woman. I felt like a woman. I was a woman and I needed a man. Danny was going to be that man and I would make damn sure of it. I felt so mature at that moment. I wasn't a fifteen year old boy that night. I was a mature, beautiful and sexually aroused woman. I put on a slinky black cocktail dress and went down and poured myself a glass of wine. I had just started sneaking my mom's cigarettes and taking them and the wine I left the safety of my house and steeped out into the night air. This was also a first. I sat at our patio table and crossed my legs at the knee feeling the cool breeze blow up my dress. I could see Danny's house next door. Suddenly the back porch light came on and he emerged from the house. I was frozen in place. He was just probably taking out the trash because as quick as he came out he went right back in. He never saw me although if he had just turned his head he was sure to see a young woman sitting outside across the fence. That young woman was me. The same woman that earlier that day walked home from school with him although at the time she was wearing jeans a sweatshirt and sneakers. I remained outside for about an hour prying he would come out again and see me. It never happened. That night in bed I fantisised that it did and that we made passionate love through the night. I realized that I truely was that woman. Well it all sort of worked out but you know that! Kisses.......Rita.